How To Mindfully Compliment Your Friends

Recently, I have undergone a lifestyle change that has positively affected my entire mind, body and soul. For the past few years, I have struggled with my health regarding my food intake and I could never quite understand what was going on. Every time I ate, my stomach would become distended and I would be in so much pain. Most foods were extremely hard to digest and I began throwing up frequently whenever I had eaten the wrong thing. Finally, after meeting Jordan’s incredible “witch-doctor” of a mother, I started cutting out certain things from my diet and my whole life changed. I began listening to my body and incredible things started to happen. For the first time in my life, I’m experiencing a level of mental clarity that I did not know existed. I have never been happier with myself or my life, and this was all related to what I was putting in my body and how badly I was ignoring what I really needed. I had no idea my mental outlook could be so affected by what I was feeding myself. Sometimes you don’t know how bad you feel until you actually feel good.

A huge side effect of this change has been weight loss. For me, losing weight was never the goal. Sure, everyone has a part of themselves that they want to change but for me, I always found my sense of confidence came from within and I liked being curvier. Now, I absolutely love my body but truthfully, I always have, even when it was rebelling against me because of what I was consuming, but again that was my own fault. I promise this isn’t a blog post just boasting about how hot I am looking these days (although, I would take myself out on a date if I could), this is actually leading to a larger issue. The way that people have reacted to my weight loss is confirmation to Team REVLY how important our message is.

WHY.CAN’T.WE. COMPLIMENT. PEOPLE. WITHOUT. DISCUSSING. BODIES.

I’m not going to sit here and act like it doesn’t feel good to have people shower you with compliments. However, what I have noticed is that since people have started commenting on my appearance, I have become more self-conscious than ever. Was I that big before? Why do I feel like everyone is looking at me so differently now?

We are all guilty of commenting “skinny!” or “body!!!” all over our friend’s social media. But why are we doing this? What are we each gaining from comments like this? Why are we seeking that sort of validation from our followers? If anything, those comments make me freak out because when I don’t get them, I start wondering if I look fat in the photo I posted. Sadly in the past, I have been guilty of this too. By posting comments reflecting on someone’s body we are contributing to society’s problem of valuing women for how they look.

So many incredible companies talk about body positivity but it is all surrounding just body size and shape. We see campaigns and phrases like “real women have curves” and “this is what a real body looks like,” but what does that even mean? Every single body is a real body regardless of what it looks like. And that goes for thin bodies too. There is plenty of skinny shaming going on as well. A troll is a troll. You know what a real body is? One that has a beating heart and exists in this world. EVERY BODY IS A REAL BODY. So, let’s stop shaming and complimenting based on appearance, let’s instead start talking about the incredible things these bodies are doing. 

REVLY is here to change the conversation. We all have insecurities regardless of what size we wear. Our bodies should never be the most important facet of our life. Through our message, we hope to encourage those around us and following us to stop putting emphasis and value on how we look, and instead on what we are achieving, earning and doing. Let’s compliment brains, thoughts, feelings, emotions and each of our contributions to society first.

I’m not saying that it is wrong to compliment your friends and tell them how beautiful they are. Let’s just focus on being more intentional with what we are saying and how we are saying it. Let’s use words of true value and support. You have a real body, a really incredible body that is capable of doing so many amazing things. Take care of it, use it wisely and set your mind to accomplishing everything you have ever wanted.

 

 

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